Hey, I think I'm finally back from my bigger breakdown. 🥺Wel..
Added 2024-12-19 17:40:13 +0000 UTCHey, I think I'm finally back from my bigger breakdown. 🥺
Well, you're probably used to me having depressed phases and I always hate when I do, as I usually just disappear for a long time. This time everything started crumbling down around my birthday, so almost 2 months ago.
A phone call with my mom started everything, saying she doesn't deserve this and that I should just get a normal job, live at home and save up, which I know I'd hate. I've already been stagnant for so many years... My relatives from the US were also visiting, so I got anxious, as I would meet with my mother again. I did end up going, but that just made me even more aware how disappointed and frustrated she was in me. Yes, I had some financial difficulties, as I now have to pay an extra 2k€ for rent, but I just needed to find a balance. Sadly right after the trip my bank account got locked, which just made me spiral into even more depression.
I've been having trouble getting out of bed, surviving on pasta, microwave food, since I couldn't access my money, and just hoping my bank account would get solved, but it seems my bank didn't see my initial signed paper they had requested, so 1 week turned into 3 weeks. This was such a huge mental block for me, especially cause I couldn't pay my rent and I was worried I'd get kicked out... Thank god I have a dog or I wouldn't have gone outside at all.
Well, there's a lot more to it, but I'm sorry for disappearing again! I hope you had a better past 2 months 🥰
I need to work on my adulting skills 🥲
