Hey, it's me again. I hope you're doing well! I'm sad it too..

Hey, it's me again. I hope you're doing well! I'm sad it took me this long to get back on here, but it is how it is. There are a few reasons as to why I disappeared, and despite being back to streaming, I haven't posted anything new here. Streaming, in a sense, is an escape for me as well, so just because I seem fine during my streams doesn't mean I actually am. Sorry for the long text, 😅❤️ 1. Some of you may know that I reluctantly started a job back in November. My mother and my friend somehow convinced me it would be good, but it really wasn't. I got depressed pretty quickly after the initial excitement and interest faded. A lot of things went wrong on both ends, and a month ago I got fired. I guess I should've been happy, as I had wanted to quit, but getting fired just doesn't feel great. I was a bit lost. 2. My mother suddenly did a 180 again and told me she doesn't care how I earn my money or if I want to study something else; she'll support me. Honestly, I should be happy about this again, but it's hard for me to believe it. She told me she'd support me from the very start, and yet we had a full-blown argument last year, with her telling me she couldn't stand behind it as it didn't support her form of feminism. Now, the main reason she didn't like it was because I always told them at the last minute that I was going to be gone for the day/night (off to a hotel for some pictures). Am I 14 or what... I am just confused and scared to talk about it again due to the clash we had last year. 3. I'm struggling a lot with the extra weight I have noticeably put on my body over the past 2 years. It's not much, but it's difficult for me to feel sexy at times, and I have to trash a lot of pictures as it highlights my weight gain. Because I am sharing sensitive pictures on here, it's very difficult to just accept myself and move on, especially seeing how much skinnier I was a few years ago. On top of that, I also have very low energy due to being so unfit, which makes working more difficult. Anyone up for a fitness challenge? 4. I moved back home due to my mother needing more help after her knee replacement surgery. It's been fine, but I do miss living alone. So being stuck in my old place again is a bit depressing, and I really want to move out asap. CONCLUSION: I'll try this one more time. I really do enjoy creating content here, but it's not fair for you to see how inconsistent I am. A week's break is ok, but disappearing for over a month is not great, and then it takes me weeks to come back due to feeling guilty. Let's pray for a good time again, because I miss that!