---------- First a little bit of life update (skip if you wa..

---------- First a little bit of life update (skip if you want to) 😊 -----

I had my first free weekend in a very long time. So, sorry the post took a little bit longer. I wanted to make it yesterday, but I was just too exhausted, as I went jogging for the first time in ages and my everything hurt 😅

Anyway, since school is over I am still figuring out what's next for me. Enjoying summer for sure. And looking for work as well, but there was a question of what was going to happen with me and Luke as well. For now, I've decided to stay in the city for work, even though sometimes I miss the country a lot.

I told Luke earlier that I am not dating at least I am out of school. Which I finally am. I have to admit, I would miss him a lot. On the other hand, I quite enjoy things as they are. So I think I am ready for half a step forward. I have no interest in playing with other people, except being a naughty exhibitionist on the internet and occasionally flirting in chat 🤭 So, we had a talk. Not much is going to change from how things are. I am still not ready to live with him. That idea is making me panic a little bit as I really like my personal space and a bit of solitude. 😄 But I think his devotion and willingness to listen to me have earned him a more permanent spot in my life. I like him a lot and enjoy his presence. I tried to imagine how I would feel if he left and the idea made me rather sad and feeling lonely. So I'd like to strengthen the bond between us and let him feel a little bit of solid ground. I still plan on being an online tease and flirting with people, but irl we will be exclusive™ (terms and conditions might apply). 🥰

It's part scary, but I want to give it a chance without jumping too deep and changing more about our lifestyle, as I feel pretty happy with the place where I currently am. If things evolve, great, but I don't want to push them, just because they are "expected". On the other hand, I don't want my attachment issues to stand in the way of my own happiness. I am excited that by becoming a tiny bit closer I might be controlling things that would otherwise be difficult. And I think I like the idea of eventually traveling together. First, more activities together might reveal if we are a good fit because there is more to life than bdsm sessions. And second, it might give us good opportunities for some excitement. Like for example waiting on him after the security check on the airport sounds thrilling 🤭Anyway, my plan is to let the life flow while being honest with my emotions. 😊

---------- End of life update ---------

One aspect of chastity I find most fascinating and much more devious than it seems on a first glance is the inability to masturbate. And you might think, yeah obviously. 😂 But I don't mean sometimes. I mean pretty much always. Luke just can't jerk off on his own. Virtually every time he's allowed to cum, it's me who does it. He very rarely can even touch his erect penis. So I was wondering how it would make him feel if he sort of could but with a layer in between. 😈

So I pulled out a dildo with the intention of jerking at the same pace as his dick. I was considering if I should let him watch and maybe it was a mistake that I didn't, but my idea was to let him feel it mostly through touch. So soon I put his hand on the dildo and tried to copy his movements. So, perhaps it would feel to him like he's almost jerking off 🤭 Honestly, it's a lot more difficult to be synchronized than it seems. At first, I was a bit annoyed by it, but now looking back I think the imperfection of it could be what made it even more frustrating. Because even though he tried to pretend he was jerking himself off, the delays and small misaligns won't let him forget it. Though I would really love doing it with a toy that's looking(feeling) more like him. Or even better use the cloned dick. The first one I made is however a little short for it. It looks ok, but it's a little stumpy 😄

Can't wait to make a second version of the penis clone. Already have all the parts for it at home, now just figure out a few of the quirks, 3d print some connections for the vacuum pump, and make it all work. Luckily it should all be much more possible without the school to find a bit of time for some hobby. Who knows, maybe I'll even sculpt some dildo, later on. 😊 Anyway, I would really love to have a properly sized replica of his penis, because I have at least half a dozen ideas, that would turn his mind into a soup of horniness. 😇 While jerking random dildo is fun, I think a bit of tactile similarity would go a long way.
I really hoped that he would connect with the fake dick at least a little bit. The idea was pretty hot to me. If it worked as I imagined he would feel all the pleasure as if he was stroking himself. Perhaps in his mind, the fake dick eventually disappear. And as soon as he would get a little closer to orgasm I would just drop his dick practically "disconnecting" his dick in his mind, as he would still be able to feel it in his hand. 🥵
So I think having a more familiar penis in his hand would make it easier to pass the illusion. This time it worked, sort of, but not the the extent I was hoping for. It still left him pretty horny, so I count it as a success 🤭I mean, it's not like the orgasm a week ago made any huge difference in his horniness levels. That's why I never let him have more than one. I like it better when he's easily aroused and horny. 😈