Damn, Nosferatu 2024 and his facial hair are still burning m..

Damn, Nosferatu 2024 and his facial hair are still burning my ass three days after watching the film. Do you see the difference between the hairstyles and mustaches on these men in the pictures? Because the creator of that post doesn’t. And apparently, neither do a ton of people on Facebook. Which raises the question—do they lack eyes or brains? I’d wager the latter, along with the fact that Facebook is now crawling with AI bots riding the hype train or fulfilling someone’s agenda to create the illusion of popularity.

I get that Robert Eggers is an American director, and he couldn’t care less about Eastern Europe, but it drives me insane that people online are genuinely trying to justify Orlok’s utterly inappropriate and idiotic look in the 2024 adaptation by pointing out that Gary Oldman’s Dracula had a mustache, or Vlad the Impaler in his portrait, or Dracula from Castlevania, or some other random characters. Unfortunately, I can’t post screenshots with actual actors here because OnlyFans bans that kind of stuff.

And seriously, I just don’t understand—how can people not see the glaring difference between aristocratic men with elegant hairstyles and mustaches that clearly reflect Western European origins and are stylized to fit the film, and a rotting undead ghoul with a chub haircut and the mustache of a Zaporizhian Cossack? Speaking of the real Dracula, hairstyles in Wallachia during his reign reflected a mix of local traditions, Byzantine influences, and Western European fashion—not Southern Ukraine! Orlok, living in the Carpathian Mountains, would be highly unlikely to sport a Cossack-style haircut.

As I’ve said before, it’s likely the director just didn’t care enough, and couldn’t be bothered to spend three minutes Googling hairstyle history. Alternatively, it might have been an attempt to blend Western and Eastern European cultures and give Orlok a “barbaric” or “exotic” look. But this dull and lifeless Orlok is nothing like the bold and eccentric Cossacks, and certainly bears no resemblance to the classic image of Basavriuk—the sorcerer from St. John’s Eve, Gogol’s story set in a Ukrainian village, which perfectly captures local color. Basavriuk is fierce, cunning, aggressive, charismatic, and dangerous. While Gogol doesn’t provide a detailed description of his hairstyle, the vast majority of artists depict him with a chub and long mustache—appropriate for the region.

So why am I even writing this post? Because this film is everywhere right now, and the debates about Orlok’s mustache just won’t die. Instead of simply saying, “It’s cool, and I personally liked it,” some people start dragging in images of other mustachioed vampire men as if it’s a valid comparison. Well, why not throw in Hitler while you’re at it? I mean, he’s a killer, and Orlok’s a killer. Does he have a mustache? Yes. There’s your argument.

I love when people push their personal preferences as absolute truths without even bothering to do any research. And I really love writing posts like this.