Gods, I’m so exhausted after these past two days. I haven’t ..
Added 2024-12-24 19:50:54 +0000 UTCGods, I’m so exhausted after these past two days. I haven’t sat down at all—I’ve been working on repairs, painting old chairs, fixing and cleaning the pellet boiler, running errands, and endlessly cooking. My mom isn’t very skilled at cooking, so I’m in charge of the holiday dishes, and two days at the stove is pretty intense. While we were cooking, my mom was listening to a program about Japan, where they mentioned that it’s not customary to give flowers there. I decided to surprise her and ordered a really cute bouquet because, even though we’re not in Japan, no one gives us flowers either. She was really surprised and happy, and that was so nice.
This year, there were two fewer people at the Christmas table—my dad left the family, and my grandfather passed away. Honestly, it’s probably for the better. I had a great time with my brother’s family—they’re still hanging out, but I’m already in bed because I’m completely wiped out. I’m not very confident at the table, I feel out of place, and I’m ashamed that I haven’t achieved anything. I can’t discuss my accomplishments or work. Everyone else talks about that kind of thing, and I just stay quiet. At one point, my mom even mocked my OnlyFans, saying I only do it because I have nothing else to do and that she’d do it too if she weren’t so busy. It honestly hurt to hear that because I started my OnlyFans to save up for really nice New Year’s gifts for my loved ones, and there just aren’t any decent jobs in our town.
I also don’t drink alcohol at all, so it’s hard and a bit boring for me when everyone else starts getting 😵💫🥂. I played some WoW for a bit and enjoyed it a lot, but exhaustion just got me. I really wish I had someone to play WoW with me. Time flies so fast—it feels like I just took my academic leave, and now it’s already Christmas. Life will slip by just like that.
Oh, and I’ve got a hole in my pants. Guess you could say I’ve shown off all my holes 🥴
