My dudes, check out this unreal bodysuit of a dockside harlo..

My dudes, check out this unreal bodysuit of a dockside harlot and spring fairy lingerie that I ordered from AliExpress. I was stunned to find that bodysuit is too big for me—by a lot! Which is wild because usually clothes from Asian marketplaces fail to grasp the delicate philosophy of my thick rolls. I’ll have to pull myself together and do a photoshoot in this someday, though I don’t have stockings. Oh well, screw it.

I’ve been insanely busy today, and honestly, the past few days have been hectic but in a good way. This morning I went for my first-ever electrolysis on my face. During the procedure, a thin needle gets inserted under the skin into the hair follicle and zaps it with electricity, and then the technician yanks the hair out. I decided to bid farewell to my glorious beard and mustache. The beard part was fine, but the mustache—my God, I could almost see the Apostle Peter from the pain. But I survived and moved on.

I went to two hardware stores afterward. At home, I’ve got a few very old matching stools that are bright orange and just awful—dirty, worn out, and hideous. So, I decided to repaint them and bring them back to life. I bought paint, brushes, primer, acetone, grinder discs, and more. Nearly passed out at checkout when it all came to almost €100. Honestly, what the hell? I feel like that’s too small a price for the greatest European country, Latvia, which always ranks high in the best lists (like the top in population decline, top in minimum wage earners, and top in unhappiest populations).

But anyway, I’m keeping my spirits up and looking forward to future price hikes so our magnificent and very honest politicians can give themselves more bonuses and fly home to Germany and America.

When I got home, I carried the pellets into the house for the boiler, loaded them in, and whipped up some quick roasted veggies with chicken for my mom. Then I went into the garage to look for the grinder and those stools, because I only had two in the house. Spent forever searching for them, then froze my ass off outside while grinding the paint off the stools in the cold. Afterward, I baked two cheap frozen pizzas that tasted like crap, but I ate them all because I can. Then I talked with my mom, took a shower, and now I’ve finally made it to my bed.

Oh! I’m happy to report that the dead mouse in the wall has stopped stinking, so I can live in my room again.

Anyway, it was a long, productive, and pleasant day. On that note, I wanted to ask—if anyone feels generous, could someone gift me the Snow White cottage Lego set or an old Orthanc Lego set? No harm in asking—I’d be super grateful!