I felt like this for many months of my most recent talk ther..

I felt like this for many months of my most recent talk therapy, which ended nearly a year ago when my therapist ridiculed and insulted me during our online session. I won't go into detail, but let it suffice to say that I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I wasn't that surprised by her behavior tho, because Covid really fucked with her head. She told me that she had a therapist, but she might be one of those people who goes to therapy and doesn't tell the truth, and then nothing can be resolved. One of the major things that was a huge disconnect between us all along was that she was VERY religious --- I always wonder why peeps who go to church once a week and then act shittily and uncaring about others for the rest of the week think that they're superior - - - and she always talked about Jesus even though she knew I had a strong Buddhist practice that worked for me. For the 2 years we met, she seemed to be out to convince me that I needed to believe in heaven, which is not something I will EVER believe exists. I believe in something much more powerful and realistic. And the way she tried to convince me was basically the way a 12-year old would. And no, she wasn't 12, and I'm not an idiot. For example, she would say things like, "But what if there is a heaven? I have to believe in it in order to go to heaven. And you should too!" U G H. I swear a lot. She told me that whenever I'd use the word "God" when swearing during our sessions, that she'd cringe, because my doing that was a sin. She wasn't sex positive and let me know that she never ever watched porn, which I absolutely love and had just gotten back into when I had a very powerful sexual reawakening - a total miracle, which made me so happy, and of course I wanted to talk about my reawakening, which was frowned upon by this dimwit. SO MUCH hard work on myself had to take place for me to get to this new place in my life, and I was so grateful!!! But she was uncomfortable hearing about it. So I had to watch what I said, which was nothing I'd ever experienced in therapy. She also turned against me several times about things that were absolutely shocking. Generally, I feel that you're for me or against me, and she clearly wasn't on my side, which was, of course, essential. I saw her until I felt there was nothing else to say, since I had to watch what I said ... Cripes!! When I fired her I know she realized she had really fucked up and what she wrote to me about being fired was so out of character for her because it was very ass-kissing, and I suppose she did that because she thought I was going to sue her for what had happened. #ismyheadshrunkyet xo