TW: mental health diagnosisOne thing I've never really talke..

TW: mental health diagnosis
One thing I've never really talked about is that I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder this year. Getting that diagnosis answered so many questions for me. I started therapy and a new medication, and I don't experience anything like I did a year ago. I had most of the symptoms for bipolar disorder, but I had no idea that the things I was experiencing was defined as any sort of mental illness. Yes, I've experienced a lot of trauma in the last five years or so (that's a topic for another day), but I just kind of dealt with the emotional turmoil that came with it.

It was difficult to get through most days. There were things happening that I couldn't explain. Of course I was depressed, but I couldn't hardly eat and when I did eat the food tasted like plastic. I felt like I was losing touch with reality because nothing felt real. I would feel like I was floating sometimes and would feel like things and people weren't real.

I've dealt with a lot of trauma and I guess it was subconsciously affecting me. I had super high highs and extremely low lows. I had intrusive thoughts and hallucinations, etc. My thoughts would run so fast and I would just talk to my friends for hours and hours, almost talking in a loop (it's defined as rumination or ruminating). I used to sleep 2 hours every night (if that) and feel just fine.
Those aren't the only symptoms I was experiencing, but I said all that to say I'm so fucking glad I started therapy and got prescribed the proper medication to treat my mental illness.

I was against even getting on medication at first, but it's helped me in so many different aspects of my life. I sleep better. I eat better. I don't have paranoia or delusional/intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. I don't have extremely high highs and extremely low lows. I feel like I can focus now. I'm just so glad I chose to start taking care of myself and asked for help. You should always take care of yourself, too! Drink water. Make sure you eat. Take a multivitamin once a day. Go to your primary doctor. Go to therapy. Just please take care of yourself and love yourself because you matter and you're worth it!