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When I wake up alone in a room that is only mine. I work on ..

When I wake up alone in a room that is only mine. I work on my bedroom floor all night. When I am on a train to Paris. My hair is clean and I wear the same black outfit over and over again. A friend tells me he has touched himself while looking at my self-portraits. When I drink something with gin in it. The man at the post office listens to my question without interrupting me. A dog pushes his nose into my leg on the train. When I decide to not buy the beautiful long red dress. I leave early. I don’t dream. I hail a black cab without even thinking about it. The money is received with no negotiations. I consider a past mistake and I don’t wish I could go back in time and change it. When I remove my clothes from the dryer and fold them slowly. When I take a bath in a hotel. The purple orb appears above my third eye when I pray. I wrap a gift with tissue paper and a ribbon. I sleep naked. I wear white socks that get dirty when I step in a puddle but I don’t cry. Play a note on a piano. When I listen and don’t respond. I say no thank you. When I make it to the pharmacy and back all by myself despite being in agony, wrapped in a big coat. I moisturise my entire body after showering. When I let some papers collect messily and sweetly on my desk. Blow out a candle. Buy wilting flowers from a supermarket and revive them. When a man texts me to tell me who he thinks I am and I feel amused. My head aches from caring and working so I wash my face slowly. When I make the lights very dim.

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