Here is my second dress I made out of the three things I made. Again, THANK YOU for having given me money so I could have a proper distraction from my depression, and have something to do in May, June, and July. This one kind of went .. wrong. The top part of it.. was on my fault I forgot to calculate the stretch of the sheer lace and it went and stretched too far sideways, so I have to add rhinestones to cover up my chest, so one day if I do wear this in public, I do not get arrested for public indecency. Dunno if I can get away with posting this on IG? Maybe only certain parts of the video. Oh yeah.. I recorded the whole process so that you could see the struggle it takes to make a dress, and also to prove that I did use what I got with your help. Placing rhinestones one by one by hand when you've got liquid-y joints in your body causes a lot of pain in my hands and you'd never have to know that, thankfully. So, this one did take a while to get done, that and the glue takes 3 days to fully cure for those rhinestones lol fun fact. I hope you like it. Do you like what I did with your helpful contributions?!! I tried my best and wanted to show you, so I hope you do like what I did with your help. Thank you again. If you ever want to offer more, so that I could redo this dress and go with the original design instead of a rhinestone-y one, feel free to do so. I would love it obviously. It helped me distract from my depression and makes for content in it's own way.
P S .. I could not find music for any of these videos.. they were too long and music is too short these days so there is no music just raw audio. Pardon.
So when I asked for funding to help give me something to do in May or so this year, I wanted fabric in order to make dresses that I had in mind. This is one of them!! I made them in JULY.. and then my ADHD kicked my ass the whole time until JUST NOW, where I JUST closed my editing software, after rending this. I have made a total of 3 things with the fabric you helped me afford, and this is one of three. I decided to record and include the whole process of how it was made so you can see how something can take a long time to make, and to show you what I got, and to show you how I put it to use. THANK YOU for those who did offer me money to give myself something to do to distract from my depression. The holidays are going to suck so bad for me the next few years, and especially this one. Sorry I have been so quiet. When you have ADHD that you can't medicate due to another illness that makes it impossible to predict how medication is going to react to your system and more often times than not, any medication causes damaging side effects.. so you CAN'T medicate the ADHD... you sort of sit there and loathe the fact you didn't do something you felt like was TIMELINE to do, in a certain order, thanks to the autism.. it causes a clog in my brain. I can't post anything until this one thing is done.. but my adhd won't let me do it.. so then I get a backlog all due to my autism and ADHD fighting one another.. The autism tells me I have to post in chronological order.. the adhd sees that I have a few things to do.. and then shuts down and won't let me do the thing I need to post next, in order to post the next things, and then it piles up, and the ADHD gets overwhelmed, postponing the backlog, and so on and so on.. and then it takes months.. and here I am posting something I made in July... in December. Now I have a backlog of things to post. I made MORE than just the dresses!!! Finally now that I am done with the editing of these three projects... I may finally post the rest of the things I did this year. Hopefully.. HOPEFULLY.. the ADHD does not suddenly go "uugghhh that's too much stuff idk what to do with it all.. maybe shutting down is a good idea until we can figure it out.." Fuck I hate having ADHD sometimes. It has it's benefits.. but god, the cons can get on my nerves in comparison to the benefits of the pros.
I took some to work on recording a small bit of myself singing to an instrumental that is not mine, since I liked how it sounded. Then, I mixed it and mastered it myself, and have decided to upload it to you guys first. What do you think? Yes it is me singing. Yes I added some echo for effect. No the beat is not mine. Yes I am a natural Tenor, which is supposed to be a male vocal range, no I am not on T. This is my natural tone.. and this is why I was scared to death to sing for anyone to hear.. cause I have a rare vocal range.
One lovely day I'll be able to opt out of waking up in this country ever again. I just ask that if I do, that you keep it as a day of celebration that I suceeded in my lifelong goal. Dunno how I'll achieve that or when.. but whenever it does get checked on the checkbox.. yeah. Smile extra big!
Birthday on the 1st.. What do I do? I am highly depressed just thinking about it because nothing goes on on that day ever, just something tragic or nothing at all. No in-between.
Nothing bad! Just updating cause I'm quiet af recently. My fkn eye is ballooned up and I'm not gonna be able to see for who knows how long. I had one of these in my past which distorted my eye since childhood after the surgery and I've lived with a rather bummy eye since early 00's. Now my poor good eye.. this thing resulted from me getting a cold a month ago.. cause me getting injured in one way, leads to 3x more illnesses to follow. Always. I'm just one of those people who get sick and stay injured! Wish me luck! My head hurts (this thing is causing ocular headaches). Love yall!
The place closed cause the owner sold it. I'm too crppld to be accepted anywhere else now. I'm going to be in need of extra funds to sustain my weight and also a hobby since I've got nothing left to turn to. If you'd like, I'd prefer PpAL or CahsApp, since here takes twenty percent of anything, subs, tips, and all. If you'd like the ppal or cahsapp just ask I'll give. Otherwise, keep in mind 20 percent is taken. Anything is appreciated. They didn't tell anyone about this change until it was 3 days till end date. We had no chance. I had no chance to go up there. And now I am sick (starting to recover) with a cold that was spiking a fever to 102. E.
The fund goal is just there since I don't expect anything but I still put it there just in case. It doesn't imply anything. As I said any number is a positive number, better than I could do.
I have a really weird question that I'll probably poll more than once just to make sure it's an and voted on.
My original plan was to sew Exotic Dancewear until I was good enough to make and sell Exotic Dancewear for MALE bodies, or make Sissy clothes / hyper-femme clothes for male bodies, cute things for crossdressers and femboys.
The market for Exotic Dancewear is SATURATED I noticed .. I already asked a small corner of the fetish crowds on another site, asking, is there a demand for that sort of clothing for femme or exhibitionist male bodies and a lot, actually all 8ppl who commented (I think it was that amount, give or take) said yes, they'd like somebody else coming in to try to make those things.
What do you think? I am somebody who likes to gather as many opinions as possible before I make a decision.. do you think I should get into making fancy creative things like this (and of course other ideas) for male bodies to wear? Or should I not, and stick to swimming with the large current that exists?
Pardon the lighting.. it was purple and white but because my lighting was yellow at the time for the sake of my eyes, the purple appeared grayish. I've a problem with blue colored anything, light especially, it gives me a massive headache and the white setting lights produces too much blue for me so I don't have the white lights on.. just yellow to weaken any blue light color. Just imagine it's proper rich purple + multicolored rhinestones. Otherwise I liked this one.
Thanks to those who support the fabric funding so that I can make these silly things just to make it and feel good about myself for having made something. Being undersized in all ways, it's hard to find clothing that fits. I'm legit too underweight to wear regular things without having to do alterations all over the place and I don't want to be stuck wearing things meant for you/th. It doesn't feel good, looking into the y/a section for clothes, given my background. So, thank you for chipping in extra so that I don't have to do that.. especially for things like this.
You gotta ignore my YouTube running in the background to see the outfit I made. Only trying to show off the outfit. I think I did post this one on the mannequin before but the mannequin is more built than I am so I wanted to show it on my human mannequin. I did mess up before and make it way too flat so it ended up distorting the fat cells in the top, from the top pov it didn't look right. Since then I did fix it but this is what I've got for right now. I did eventually fix the colors too as I said. Don't comment on my human mannequin. Only the outfit if anything.
Thanks again to those who support me with extra bits n pieces so that I may make these things and give myself something to do other than contemplate dye every waking second as I normally do. The distraction helps. Thanks for that.
Thank you for being civil as I show you my latest works of garment. Thanks for not messaging objectifying things and not commenting that way either. I appreciate the civility.
P.s. don't comment on the rear. Having ANA (an -orexia) for the past 15 years has done permanent damage to my glute muscles and I was posing to hide it in my past. I don't wanna discuss it.. just know having suffered ANA for over half my life by now.. it does do permanent damage to muscles that gyms can never fix. Don't compliment it. It strikes a great triggering insecurity.
This damn bikini I did wrong but I've fixed since this one. For one it was too big on the top I wanted it smaller. For two I designed the colors wrong and didn't code the black on the gradient right, making it come out as light black and red and not just black and red. I did fix that later but didn't take new photos. I liked the bows idea. Tying them and sewing those on by hand .. legit took 2hrs just to do that. The whole thing took maybe 6hrs but with the bows took 8hrs.
I did a simple spin of the outfit. Forgot to mention my local lighting at the time was yellow for my ceiling LEDs so it may look green ish but it is blue water. Not green water. I also did a revision on the strings since then but this is the old version. They're no longer flat clear because they didn't wanna stay tied and were too slippery. Mind my facial expression. I'm learning how to only smile when I mean it. This is my "I srsly hope they don't start objectifying me outright again because of this video" face. Just trying to show my work. Disabilities are starting to take over my hands and eyes though. Just found that out a few days ago. No wonder it takes me 8 hours to do what others do in 1. Then I would ever feel guilty for charging min wage x8 so I struggle with making things for others.
My only request: Be civil. I will delete inappropriate comments because I'm not here to solicit meat-brain comments. I'm showing you a passion I have to help me cope with my depression/ptsd/all mental pain I have. Keep your focus on the garment itself. I am only being a mannequin to display my works. I will not answer b.s. messages that are inappropriate.
I am only showing you something that I made handmade. I did fix the sizing/shaping of the top since then. This was taken in May. I like the concept of pool water printed swimsuits so I made one. I always wanted one. It's pretty and I love it.
Do you like what I made? This is what happens when you contribute to the fabric fund things I pop up with so that I can make these things.
Pardon my hair. Depression took over and didn't allow me to do any self care for months straight.
If this is received as wholesomely as possibly.. I will post more of what I made. I have made a lot
April selfies. I do occasional makeup but not often. And always remember. Makeup ≠ less chronic illness. Makeup ≠ feeling alright. Makeup = an attempt at coping, whether it's successful or not. Do not assume ill people who put on makeup, are any less sick.
Just dropping some selfies from early or mid May. Pardon me my depression been kicking my ass. I made some things with the fabric I got thanks to those who did support it! Coming soon. I just gotta get my current tasks on my to do list done.
I'm not spending $200 at a nail salon when I can just do it myself exactly as I want it.... if you want it done right you just gotta do it yourself, I've learned. It might take 6hrs or more but it's not $200.
And I made a galaxy bikini too. Decorating it was the biggest pain in the ass cause of the perfectionism. I have almost exact amounts of rhinestones on each panel.. give or take a few in order to cover blank space.
My camera refused to focus and have the right color. I need a new phone but who has the funds for all that crap? Lol not me so now we got vid clips where my camera is outdated and having to be redirected and adjusted while filming. Oh boy. But.. here is this one in clip form. Do you like it?
Then I made this one, too. I like it quite a lot. Thank you supporters for those who supported the fabric fund request! My first time making and using bows as a decoration!
Forgot I took a floor clip of the sht I made. You can see the rhinestones. Placing these things by hand one by one with tweezers was a special form of hell.
There is a big maybe that I might make some wearable crap. I did get fabric. I just forgot to mention that. Dealing with daily chronic pain but aye, soon! Plus, OF keeps sending me reminders to post. They are not very fond of me taking my time so, here I am posting. hope your day is ... (it's 2am why did I say day) .. Hope your day goes well today!
Lol a Before and After of a photo in my "Clean Sheet" photoset I done over a year ago. It's on my MV store, 20photos, under the title of "Clean Sheet". I had to make some big fancy edit so that I may post it to IG. So far, it has not been taken down. Lucky me! ... Oh boy that took a while to figure out what I was doing with this one. Never.. photo edited a human into a saint statue before.
