Hi everyone.
I have been incredibly I’ll but I’m finally, now, feeling better. I have, though, been left significantly more disabled then when you last saw me in full swing.
My walking is now non-existent. I cannot take a single step with my walker, holding onto furniture, or while holding onto my boyfriend. I am 100% reliant on the wheelchair. My hands have less sensation. And finally my right eye is blurry and the colours are dull. I am particularly concerned about my eyes as going blind is something I desperately do not want to do. Like, it is the least thing I want to do in this world, what is the opposite to a bucket list? Going blind is on my sprinkler list!
Today is a new day one, I have recorded lots of videos of different aspects of my exercises and abilities. I will be sharing them throughout the week and already scheduled them, so you won’t miss them! I will record new videos each Monday so we can see how I am doing.
Please remember you’re always welcome to message me and I always will reply. I have fallen a little bit behind but we will be replying to everybody tomorrow, I promise! Thank you for your well wishes and your immense patience.
2021-10-11 19:13:08 +0000 UTC
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Ok, I spoke too soon. I got sooo sick!
Anyway, it’s left me super stiff so I thought I’d share my difficulties with a super easy task. Here is me trying to butter some toast.
💖😢
2021-10-04 12:00:27 +0000 UTC
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Oh my God! I just typed a long health update and Safari crashed and it is all gone!
I am super tired so I’m going to summarise!
Covid virtually gone but still have a cough and I’m constantly exhausted! Hence the summary.
New MS team seem very attentive and friendly and I am actually rather excited to start working with them.
We had a video consultation on Friday and I already have my first physio booked in in a couple of weeks. Considering I was told it would take at least six months to transfer to this team and it’s only taken about a week I’m a little surprised but happy.
New video coming tomorrow, let’s get back to it while I’m currently, relatively, well!
💖😘💝
2021-09-28 18:37:21 +0000 UTC
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Health Update
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I am already feeling much much better; I am so grateful for vaccines! And timing wise, imagine if I had had Covid, without a vaccine, and a couple of weeks ago when I was struggling to breathe because of my medication. I don’t want to be too dramatic, but I probably could’ve died! Still, with the vaccine, and relatively healthy, it has been a pretty easy ride.
Second health update. I got a phone call today from my current MS team arranging an appointment for Friday with my new MS team. The one I mention the other day that feels a little bit like being put out to pasture.
Anyway, they originally said six months so I am super curious why I actually have the appointment just seven days later. The NHS isn’t known for its efficiency at the best of times but during a pandemic it has been incredibly difficult to get appointments, so I’m not sure why I have suddenly got one so super quickly with a new team. Anyway, looking forward to meeting (virtually) my new doctor. I will let you know how I get on!
2021-09-22 18:31:29 +0000 UTC
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Just an update on the previous update. Probably not a cold, the PCR test came back as positive for coronavirus for my boyfriend’s son.
We ordered PCR tests for the rest of us, fingers crossed it is not an overly difficult few days ahead.
2021-09-17 20:45:44 +0000 UTC
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Health update - appointment with neurology team
I had my appointment yesterday but, to be fair, it didn’t go as planned. For a start it was not with my neurologist, as I thought, but with one of the team. Secondly, it was a remote appointment using the video services. Out of curiosity; does anyone know if the NHS received a memo at the beginning of the pandemic instructing them to prepare for webcam consultations by making sure computers are facing the window so all you see is a talking silhouette?
Anyway, they are investigating an alternative to the gabapentin but do at least agree with me that the chances are it was that that was causing my problems. They also told me that they are moving me to a community team which feels a little bit like being given up upon. Like I don’t really qualify for a proper neurologist anymore and they’re just going to keep an eye on me until I die. Hoping that’s not the case, but we will see!
Other than that, I have a bit of a cold. I’m hoping it’s a cold, one of my boyfriend‘s children were sent home from school with a cough and a fever and we are waiting their test result but it feels very much like a cold as everyone is sneezing and feeling pretty rough.
Have a great weekend everyone, more videos and less depressing health news (hopefully) coming.
2021-09-17 15:37:21 +0000 UTC
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More about my feet…
2021-09-13 17:03:53 +0000 UTC
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Medicine Update
As many of you know I suffer from quite bad spasticity which means my legs, in particular, get extremely stiff and hard to manoeuvre. I was originally prescribed a drug called Baclofen for this but it wasn’t very effective. A few months ago I was prescribed a new one called Gabapentin which helped significantly.
A few days ago I told you that I was suffering from shortness of breath that lasted several days and I think I mentioned some blurred vision and the fact that I am always tired. It turns out these are side-effects of the Gabapentin and the shortness of breath one is particularly worrying.
If they take me off Gabapentin there’s only one other drug available to try. That drug is Sativex. Sativex Is a last resort drug if the other two have failed because it is cannabis-based.
I have an appointment with my neurologist and MS team later in the week and will be discussing these issues with them and making a decision then. I will update you once I know!
2021-09-12 19:23:11 +0000 UTC
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Leg spasms!
Message me what you’re up to this weekend!
2021-09-11 08:44:04 +0000 UTC
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The best way to this girl’s heart? Notebooks, someone just gave me a ton of them! I love notebooks!
2021-09-10 19:48:52 +0000 UTC
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Today I’m cycling through Tokyo…..
YouTube credit - https:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=3iECBzZ8FKc
2021-09-10 09:04:53 +0000 UTC
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Ok, back to exercising, let’s start with the feet and work our way up!!
2021-09-09 19:48:47 +0000 UTC
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Alcohol
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When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I started frantically searching Google for everything that could possibly help me. Every exercise, every diet, every lifestyle choice. And one of the things I did was I stopped drinking. Some of my happiest memories involve alcohol, a bottle of champagne shared with someone special, watching the football while having a beer, drinking way too much vodka when accompanying someone on business trips in Moscow.
Even though I tried so many different things my condition got progressively worse. It got to a point a few weeks ago where I just figured maybe I need to allow myself some vices because what is the point in living if you’re not really enjoying it.
So I have taken up drinking, not professionally. I do not drink very much but I am no longer teetotal. I am not back to the champagne as a part of me still feels that that girl is dead . But tonight I am trying something new, I’m having cider. I’m enjoying a bottle of Thatchers Vintage cider and I’m feeling a little bit tipsy!
Here’s to enjoying a little vice once in a while! 💖
2021-09-08 19:34:01 +0000 UTC
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Hey everyone. I returned to my main exercise regime today and even had a super healthy dinner (rice noodles in miso soup with tofu and grated cucumber).
This means we can get back to sharing videos and progress (or regress at first, I guess)!!
Also, remember this account is here for you to get to know me! Feel free to message me, I won’t try and sell you anything and am happy to answer almost any question! 💖🦦
2021-09-07 20:46:47 +0000 UTC
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AMA Time!
How are you feeling today?
I am actually feeling much better today, I have no idea what was wrong but it does seem to have passed.
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You said you were anxious, why?
I have been unwell which always has the possibility that my MS is getting worse; either because of being ill or it is actually the underlying cause of me being ill. On top of that I am getting ready to move soon, hopefully, which is both exciting and has me rather nervous as we have found a place I really really want but we do not know if we will get it yet.
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Have you ever considered meeting people?
When I moved my content from Instagram to only fans, and started to share a greater degree of my life, one of the stipulations with my boyfriend was that nothing happens in the real world. So no, I have no intentions of meeting anyone from here, Instagram or reddit. If we are talking hypothetical, then if I was single, is it possible I would consider meeting people.
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Do you have a loss of sensation on your legs/feet/hands?
Yes, I have virtually no feeling in my feet, significantly less feeling in my legs to a normal person and also in my hands. My hands used to be worse than they are now but I still do not have a great deal of sensation.
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How often do you masturbate and has MS affected it?
Well, this sounds like a bit of a brag but actually I don’t do it at all. I used to, then I met my boyfriend and he did things down there that I have never experienced before and since that time it has been nothing but a letdown. I honestly cannot be bothered to do it anymore, it is just disappointing. Sorry. Oh, as for MS, I don’t think it affected it either way.
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What’s the worst thing about being disabled?
Oh, I suppose it is when I need help doing something that I would otherwise want to do with privacy. Somethings cannot be fun for a carer, or in my case, boyfriend, to have to deal with.
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What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?
I have talked before about the kind of sex that I enjoy, that I like to be hurt and used. I find it difficult explaining this to boyfriends and for most of them I have not bothered. Some of them were naturally bad people and therefore quite good at this but others I just accepted we were not going to do that. When I explained it to my boyfriend he was, understandably, shocked. A few days later he surprised me with an incredibly intense evening, with everything I could have desired. It turns out he went away and did a great deal of research, he spoke to several people who are well versed in that kind of sexual play, and he put together, and acted out, a scenario that was beyond this world.
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How many sexual partners have you had?
I’m not going to give you a precise number but it can be counted on my fingers. I really don’t like one night stands and prefer long-term relationships.
2021-09-03 20:30:16 +0000 UTC
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Health update
Still having some breathing difficulties, like it’s not enough to go to A&E (ER) but it’s making life rather difficult. I’m just sitting here all day….
Send me questions and I’ll do a AMA tonight or tomorrow, no topics off limits!!
2021-09-02 09:13:55 +0000 UTC
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Health Update
I have been short of breath repeatedly, most of the day. My watch says my heart rate is okay, my ECG is normal. My oximeter shows oxygen levels at 98 or 99 most of the time but dipping down to as low as 75 when I’m struggling to breathe, and this is happening every 10 minutes or so. Maybe I should’ve gone to the hospital but I have decided to give it some time and see how I feel tomorrow. It feels like all of my muscles are just so tight, especially between my shoulders, maybe anxiety , stress et cetera.
I will update you tomorrow!
2021-08-31 20:33:27 +0000 UTC
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Real Talk Time
When Only Fans announced their porn ban my thoughts went to how to preserve this account without that content. The more I thought about it the more I realised that I was quite pleased with the decision. Although I had fun making some more risqué content, I don’t think I want to do it anymore.
Now Only Fans has announced they will not be banning anything I found myself a little disappointed. So, as of right now, I’m not going to offer anymore explicit content through messages or host events around that content.
What I will do is provide a safe, non-judgemental, place to see my updates, request disability based content and talk to me one-on-one.
So please take full advantage of your membership, talk to me, ask me questions, ask what I can and can’t do. You won’t offend me and if I really don’t want to answer I will just politely tell you that.
I welcome your feedback below or through messages!
Chrissy 💖
2021-08-25 17:08:30 +0000 UTC
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I’ve been promising this video for a while but I’m going to do it again in a couple of weeks as this one is rather swayed by my ill health. This is me standing, unaided, until I fall over. Because I have been unwell I can only do it for a very short period of time. In the video you’ll see me grab hold of the walker half way through.
I had the walker there as it wasn’t safe to fall forward, so when I was falling that way the first time I steadied myself. The second time I fell backwards.
It’s close up on my legs so you can see any spasms, though my legs being super helpful, they didn’t do much!
2021-08-24 15:33:09 +0000 UTC
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Health update - feeling a bit better so thought I’d come and say hello and answer the question on everybody’s lips (see other post). Should be back on my, we’ll, wheels, tomorrow and back here properly.
2021-08-21 19:01:05 +0000 UTC
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Hi, I’m unnamed boyfriend, nice to see you. (Don’t worry, this is kinda awkward for me too).
Chrissy is rather unwell at the moment, looks like a virus (not COVID, we tested) but it’s hit her pretty hard. She just wanted me to come and say she’ll be back really soon with a video she promised. She will also address Only Fans’ new content policy.
Send happy thoughts
U.B.
2021-08-20 06:51:09 +0000 UTC
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Quick update, new video coming tomorrow!
1) I’ve been feeling very unwell today, not sure what’s up but I’ve been asleep most of it. I have messages to answer, I’ll do that tomorrow!
2) my eye is acting up, kind of blurry. I really hope it’s not something MS related or at least temporary. I like being able to see…..
3) A long requested video coming tomorrow, stay tuned!
2021-08-18 20:08:37 +0000 UTC
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You know, when people ask you what the worst thing about being disabled is they probably expect you to say something about mobility, or access to facilities, or constant pain, or the way people treat you. But no, the worst thing about my disability is when I wake up with a spider on me and I literally cannot get away! Oh well, the spider and I are gonna go back to sleep now!
2021-08-14 22:30:50 +0000 UTC
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Happy weekend everyone! Watch me trying to do up this necklace!
2021-08-14 11:19:13 +0000 UTC
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Ugh!
2021-08-11 08:16:03 +0000 UTC
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Let’s talk about sex. I was asked in a message how it works with my leg spasticity. So here goes:
I I have discussed with many of you how much I love giving blowjobs. Not a huge fan of being on the receiving end of oral sex though, but occasionally I just get that itch and need it scratched. Today was one of those days, and I guess it’s a perfect time to explain how this works.
This evening I took a shower and my boyfriend helped me out of the shower and walked me back to the bed. I can walk with him by holding onto both of his arms as he walks backwards and use him like a walker.
Once I was on the bed I laid down and he laid by my feet. At this point my legs are essentially glued together and very straight. He bent my legs at the knee (with some force) so I was laying on my back with my knees in the air and the soles of my feet flat on the bed. He then needed to pry my legs apart which takes a considerable amount of strength, imagine it as though I was doing my absolute best to hold my legs together and he had to fight me. Once he had separated them they desperately tried to pull back together like they were magnetic.
At this point he cannot use his tongue because he has to use his bodyweight and one arm to hold my legs apart so he began using his fingers instead. After about five minutes of this my body started to relax and enjoy it and stopped fighting him.
Once I was relaxed he was able to change position, release my legs, and use his tongue. About five minutes later I can feel myself ready to cum and I managed to tap him on the head just in time for him to pull away as I cum and my legs come shooting back together!
2021-08-04 21:17:49 +0000 UTC
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🥵☀️🔥
2021-07-23 12:15:32 +0000 UTC
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How is everyone doing with the crazy weather at the moment? As you know I grew up in Germany and they have had some horrendous floods right around the area I lived for 19 years. I am back in the UK now and we are going through a little heatwave which is usually unpleasant as we are right by the sea so it is super humid and sticky and nasty! I know from talking to some of you that parts of the US and much of Canada are experiencing the same thing! So I just wanted to check in!
No exercises today, so no exercise videos and I’m not sure any of you want to see my sweaty boobs. Haha
I’m going out tomorrow and will be walking, if I can in this heat, so photos or videos tomorrow of that or of me looking hot (temperature) in my wheelchair!
2021-07-21 18:28:19 +0000 UTC
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I had a message over the weekend asking me how I shave my legs. So here we are!
I have a wet room for a shower so I can wheel in and transfer to my special shower seat. From here I can lean down and shave my legs and anywhere else that takes my fancy!
As you can see my legs usually take this opportunity to spasm making the whole process a lot harder!!
2021-07-19 16:29:41 +0000 UTC
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Hello everyone, happy Friday night! I’m exhausted but someone in the village has decided that garden karaoke is a good idea and they are bloody awful!
This is a quick video to show what I have been doing to try and improve the muscles in my legs, it might be a silly thing for this Only Fans girl to say, but I have real difficulty spreading my legs!
I am all on my own this weekend so feel free to message me and I will try and reply to everyone here and anywhere else I have spoken to people over the next two days!
Much love! 💝
2021-07-16 19:41:56 +0000 UTC
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