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melissasplains

melissasplains

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melissasplains activity

working out some materialle

working out some materialle

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This is Gus, he passed away recently. He was my husband's ca..

This is Gus, he passed away recently. He was my husband's cat, but then he became my cat too for almost 10 years and I loved him very much. RIP Grumpy Gus.

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Yooo Check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captivate and sp..

Yooo Check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captivate and spotify :)

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A reminder to check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captiva..

A reminder to check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captivate and spotify, do ittt

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Check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captivate and spotify

Check out The Melissa Times on itunes, captivate and spotify

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Here's another clip from The Melissa Times, out today, Tuesd..

Here's another clip from The Melissa Times, out today, Tuesday Sept. 3rd. Check it out on itunes/apple podcasts, spotify or captivate.

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New episode of The Melissa Times is out for today, Tuesday S..

New episode of The Melissa Times is out for today, Tuesday Sept. 3rd. Check it out on itunes/apple podcasts, spotify or captivate.

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A pretty accurate assessment of Pedro Almodovar films and Sp..

A pretty accurate assessment of Pedro Almodovar films and Spanish culture. Hear the rest on The Melissa Times, streaming on apple podcasts and wherever the hell else you get your podcasts.

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Yet another video clip of the Melissa Times. Enjoy!

Yet another video clip of the Melissa Times. Enjoy!

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Who else will give you coverage on beluga spy whales from Ru..

Who else will give you coverage on beluga spy whales from Russia? Nobody but The Melissa Times, that's who. Check it out on apple pods, spotify or capitivate podcasting.

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Another clip from today's episode of The Melissa Times, stre..

Another clip from today's episode of The Melissa Times, streaming on Apple pods, spotify (probably) and Captivate.

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New podcast alert. You can stream The Melissa Times on all t..

New podcast alert. You can stream The Melissa Times on all the platforms (Apple podcasts and Captivate) now so go for it.
https://player.captivate.fm/episode/62fd5cc6-f836-4d6e-96a3-3677a8dd53bb/

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Charlie

Charlie

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Thinking

Thinking

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Me, going over my Onlylfans DMs.

Me, going over my Onlylfans DMs.

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Turn of the century dirty limericks are my jam.

Turn of the century dirty limericks are my jam.

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Have I encountered a pedobear in the wild?

Have I encountered a pedobear in the wild?

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Check out this greedy little bee

Check out this greedy little bee

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An oldie goodie: dirty limericks about literature

An oldie goodie: dirty limericks about literature

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Pussy.

Pussy.

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Here's some driveway snake-porn, enjoy

Here's some driveway snake-porn, enjoy

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Scrolling through my OnlyFans Notifications like:

Scrolling through my OnlyFans Notifications like:

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Don't take it personal. It's just my policy to never reply t..

Don't take it personal. It's just my policy to never reply to mindless bots (which is how I describe Canadians).

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This guy pretending he has an imagination.

This guy pretending he has an imagination.

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My comments are a dumpster full of trash: bots and spam and ..

My comments are a dumpster full of trash: bots and spam and one or two aborted souls trying to be heard through the lid

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Ok lady...Try it on somebody with a testosterone level above..

Ok lady...Try it on somebody with a testosterone level above 50 ng/dL

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No nudes, but here's a pic of some noods:

No nudes, but here's a pic of some noods:

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It's "may I see u naked." And are you aware that you're awak..

It's "may I see u naked." And are you aware that you're awake and sending this at 6am? Shouldn't you be feeding some chickens or something? I'm not sure what early boners do I don't wake up until 1pm

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I've gotten a lot of DMs lately but this is by far the most ..

I've gotten a lot of DMs lately but this is by far the most pornographic.

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Okay I'll cave and post some spicy pics. Here's one:

Okay I'll cave and post some spicy pics. Here's one:

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